Some days, actually a lot of days recently, I feel the Lord is calling me to do things I’m not capable of doing.
To bear pain I’m not strong enough to bear.
To handle situations I lack the skills to manage.
To see and love difficult people as He does.
To let go of my expectations for how things “should” be.
When we were at Mass last weekend, I heard and sang an old hymn within the context of my recent struggles.
Lord, when you came to the seashore you weren’t seeking the wise or the wealthy, but only asking that I might follow.
Refrain: O Lord, in my eyes you were gazing, Kindly smiling, my name you were saying; All I treasured, I have left on the sand there; Close to you, I will find other seas.
Lord, you knew what my boat carried: neither money nor weapons for fighting, but nets for fishing my daily labor. (Refrain)
Lord, have you need of my labor, hands for service, a heart made for loving, my arms for lifting the poor and broken? (Refrain)
Lord, send me where you would have me, to a village, or heart of the city; I will remember that you are with me. (Refrain)
Lord, When You Came to The Seashore by Cesáoreo Gabardine, emphasis mine.
The Lord knows better than anyone the skills and gifts He has given me. All my “boat” needs to carry is a willing, open heart and an eagerness to do the work He sets before me.
Since then, I’ve been praying constantly for the Lord to give me what I need to do His will. Part of me keeps thinking that if He does so, I will feel strong and equipped for the task at hand. But I don’t think that ill-equipped feeling is going anywhere and maybe that’s ok.
It’s a constant reminder to rely on the Lord. I’m not capable, but He is.