The past couple of months, I’ve been super busy. (Hence, my nearly 2 month absence from this blog.)
Not the bad kind of busy where everything is going wrong and I’m super stressed. The good kind, where there are so many opportunities for professional and personal growth and fun and serving others that I can’t bring myself to say no and miss out on any of it.
I know what you many of you Super Mom types are probably thinking. ‘Woman up, Adrienne! Everyone is busy. When you have a houseful of kids, then you can whine about being busy.’
I don’t have kids yet, but I maintain I’m my own special breed of busy. The ‘working for a company growing faster than you can blink your eyes, while helping launch a new nonprofit that is fundraising non-stop, while trying not to serve my husband frozen pizza for dinner every night because I’m too tired to plan and prepare a nutritious meal, I could go on, but I’ll spare you’ kind of busy. Most of it is self-inflicted, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Still, I think it is a fair analysis to say this season of my life is “busy” by most standards.
Yesterday, I was late to work because I left my laptop at home. An oversight likely associated with my ‘in a hurry because I’m so busy’ syndrome. At first I was annoyed with myself and frustrated I had to drive another 1.5 hours from work to home to pick up the laptop and then back again, but being forgetful turned out to be a blessing.
I listened to my favorite Catholic radio station during the trip. The hosts were discussing the three pillars of Lent. For my non-Christian pals, these are prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. The host made a point that hit me hard, right in the gut.
Almsgiving means giving without expectation.
Because my free time is so limited, I’m very careful about the commitments I make, evaluating the return each activity has to offer. Will activity Z make me better/smarter/faster/more faithful? Work activities, exercise, and I’m ashamed to admit without realizing it, EVEN almsgiving. Intellectually, I know nothing I have is really “mine” and this includes time, but in practice, I was weighing how my time spent serving others or money donated would benefit me or my family. (i.e. Is that a tax write off?)
Someone call the selfish police!
Yes, being busy makes the gift of my time more precious. But it doesn’t mean I should focus on how each gift will positively impact me. This wake up call was just in time for Lent and I’m committed to making an effort to give without expectation.
What kind of busy are you? Leave a comment sharing your special kind of busy!
Do you struggle to give of your time and treasure freely, without thinking about what you’ll get out of it?
I completely agree that we’re brought up in our society to think ‘if I do this, what will I get in return?’ rather than ‘how will this benefit you?’
I am trying really hard to overcome this mentality, and I think the Gospel reading we heard at the Ash Wendnesday mass really helped.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+6&version=NASB
Here’s a quote: ““So when you [a]give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be honored by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. 3 But when you [b]give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your [c]giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. ” Matthew 6:2 (NASB)