Sam’s Adoption: Part 3

Be sure to read Part 1 and Part 2 of Sam’s adoption story first if you haven’t already! Now on to Part 3…

The morning of Sam’s birth, Mark and I met his birth mom at her house and went to the hospital together. When we arrived at the hospital, his birth mom went on to delivery while Mark and I were shown to our room. Then we prayed and waited. And waited. It wasn’t that long, but we felt pretty helpless just sitting there. Mark was able to do some work from our hospital room, which was a good distraction.

The labor and delivery nurses rolled Sam into our room all swaddled up in a bassinet around 1:45pm that afternoon.

What was it like to meet him for the first time? I couldn’t believe this little baby could possibly be our son in a couple of days. It was so surreal. I instantly loved him, but I was definitely still guarding my heart, knowing there was a chance he may not be joining our family. I was overjoyed at the possibility of being his mama, while also devastated for his birth mom and the grief she would face if that was the choice she made.

Our week in the hospital was one of the most stressful, beautiful, heartbreaking, emotional, sacred experiences of my life. I’m going to keep the majority of the details private to protect Sam’s story and his birth mama’s privacy, but here’s what I will share…

After Sam was born, we had the great honor of caring for him immediately after his birth and then intermittently throughout his hospital stay. We had him in our room whenever his birth mom requested it, and Mark even got to feed Sam his first bottle. We tried to strike a balance between getting to know his birth mom and her family and giving them space and privacy to spend time with Sam. We really just followed his birth mama’s lead. She loves him so much and we wanted to be sure she had all the time she wanted with him in the hospital.

We adored everyone we met from his birth family and are so hopeful we, and of course Sam, will get to maintain and continue to build relationships with them.

When the time arrived that his birth mom planned to sign the termination of parental rights, we sat nervously in the room next door and prayed for God’s will to be done and for us to have the strength and peace to face whatever He allowed to happen. In a few moments, we were either going to be parents to the most perfect little boy on earth or we were going to be leaving the hospital to head to the airport to travel to a tropical beach somewhere to sob into our piña coladas. That was seriously my plan, an all-inclusive tropical vacation to regroup emotionally, though maybe we would’ve stopped at home to pack before heading to the airport.

Don’t get me wrong; it’s my heart for biological families to stay together whenever possible. I would have praised God right alongside his birth mama if she decided parenting was the choice she wanted to make, but we’re only human. It would’ve been very emotionally difficult for us, too, after spending the week loving her (our) son.

When the adoption counselor from our agency walked into our room with Sam and said it was time for us to start our adoption paperwork, we knew the termination of parental rights had been signed and that he was officially joining our family. Again, I was overjoyed (for us) and heartbroken (for his birth mama). It’s the most challenging mix of emotions I’ve ever had to carry side-by-side, but I’m sure it pales in comparison to the emotions his birth mom experienced and likely even the complex emotions Sam himself will experience about his adoption as he grows up. 

After we signed all the paperwork, we took our first photo as a family of 3.

The adoption won’t be finalized (i.e. legal + he takes our last name) for a while, but in that moment he definitely stole our hearts 100%. During the rest of his hospital stay, Sam continued to go back and forth between our room and his birth mom’s room. I’m not even going to try to describe the moment when his birth mom handed him to me before she left the hospital. That moment is just for those of us who were in the room; it’s too sacred.

We were able to bring Sam home from the hospital 2 days later. On our way out of the hospital, I accidentally locked our keys in the trunk of the car!! After what felt like a long hospital stay, I could not believe I extended it even further by locking us out of our car. I’m going to blame it on adjusting to the lack of sleep. 😉 A sweet nurse ended up calling the security officer on duty and, praise God, he was able to help us get the car unlocked relatively quickly. The drive home was otherwise uneventful and we’ve been living in a little bubble of joy, sleepiness, and baby snuggles ever since.

We are still waiting to finalize his adoption, and it looks like that will happen near the end of November of this year if all goes as planned. While this is the last post in this series, this is obviously not the end of Sam’s adoption story. Navigating his adoption and building relationships with his birth family will be a lifelong adventure for all of us! <3