Is this scenario familiar to you?
Person A: “Do you want a piece of cake?”
Person B: “No, thank you.”
Person A: “Why not?”
Person B: “I just don’t want any right now.”
Person A: “Oh, sure you do. Everyone wants cake. Have some cake!”
Person B: “No, thanks. I’m trying to watch what I eat.”
Person A: “That is ridiculous. You’re so thin! Have some cake, really.” OR worse, “You could stand to eat a piece of cake or two!”
Any reasonable person can see the logic in Person A’s last response is flawed, but still, people continue to live out scenes like the one above all around me and sometimes at me. It is unreasonable because…
1) People assume your dress size is the only factor you consider when choosing what to put into your body.
2) You are fit and healthy + Eat cake/sugary food whenever you feel like it = Soon, you are no longer as fit and healthy.
I know most “pushers” mean well, but it can be really frustrating. It is hard enough to convince yourself to forgo the cake now and then, but it is that much more difficult with people pressuring you about your choices. I’m not talking about the friends and family who know you well and ask you a second time because they know you really want it. I’m talking about the people who push you when no really means no and it is clear you aren’t interested.
What’s with the pushing?
My guess is a disordered relationship with food. They view food as a reward, a consolation, a sign of your love, etc. instead of fuel for your body. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy food immensely. I love to cook, bake and eat. Sharing a meal with others can be a really special experience, but I think the focus should be on the fellowship and experience, not just the food itself. I’m as guilty as the next person of racing to sweets at the end of a rough day for a pick me up, but I know this isn’t a healthy habit if I do it every time I get the urge.
I’ve also secretly suspected some people were trying to sabotage my healthy eating because they were trying to make themselves feel better about their own poor choices, even if their real motivation was unbeknownst to them, but this is probably just me being paranoid and reading too much into things as usual.
In 2007, I was almost 40 lbs heavier than I am today, and I work really hard to stay in my new healthier weight range. I remember how I came to wear those extra pounds (drinking in college, late night fast food, and soda to name a few) and I’m determined not to fall back into those bad habits. My husband, who also lost A LOT of weight as a result of our lifestyle changes, has been so helpful and supportive as I try new recipes and recruit him to be my exercise partner. He’s also been the victim of people pushing him to eat things he is trying to avoid.
I’m not suggesting we should never indulge, just that eating something out of obligation or because you feel pressured is doing yourself a disservice.
So as a PSA to the rest of the world on behalf of all my fit and formerly fat or fat trying to get fit or just plain fit friends: Don’t be a pusher. Consider just for a minute, the person you are pressuring is healthy and fit precisely because they skip the cake now and then.
Cake picture borrowed from here. If you try the recipe, let me know how it turns out. Looks so delicious!