A simple word that has the power to help women everywhere relax

Between work and family life, most women I know are overcommitted, under rested and just plain worn out.

If they aren’t rushing their kids to a soccer game, they’re working late to meet a strict deadline, folding laundry, or squeezing in a few precious moments with friends.

My point is, we could all use more time to relax, but lately I’ve noticed that very few women take advantage the opportunity when it arises. When we have a day off from work, we spend it doing house work. When we notice an open afternoon, we agree to work extra hours.

Even on the rare occasion that I am home sick from work, I feel pressure to do the dishes or wash laundry. By working when I should be resting, I end up prolonging my illness, making it difficult to function for weeks at a time when it should have lasted only days.

Then I learned a magic word from my husband (and other men I’ve observed) that changed everything. The word is no.

Are you thinking that saying no more often sounds selfish? I thought so, too, at first. Before I considered that to be equipped to care for others, you need to care for yourself.

When my husband has an extra day off, he plays video games and watches TV. And when he goes back to work he is sharp and focused and excels at everything he does. Sometimes he turns down invitations to go out with friends just because he wants to relax instead. Don’t get me wrong, my husband isn’t lazy by any stretch of the imagination. He works very hard both at work and at home, but he also recognizes how important it is to take time for himself.

When I go back to work after a day off, I’m rarely more rested than I was before the break. I can’t remember the last time I turned a friend down when I didn’t already have other concrete plans.

Is it hard to tell others no when they ask for your time? Yes. Is it ok to let yourself relax when there are (non-critical) things that need to be done? Absolutely.