There are so many children’s books to sift through related to adoption! When we first started trying to collect books for Samuel, I admit I was overwhelmed. There are lots of resources and not all of them are consistent with the way we speak about adoption in our home. These are 2 basic filters I used to discern which books we purchased or put on Sam’s future wishlist:
- Not about the parents’ infertility journey. While this is an important part of our story I plan to share with our son one day (he may even read it here if my blog is still alive), I’ve learned from adult adoptees these stories can make a child feel like they are a wish or dream fulfilled. It can create unnecessary pressure on them to live up to your dreams or wishes rather than growing up to freely discover who God created them to be.
- Leaves room for positive and negative emotions. Adoption is beautiful, but it can also be devastating and painful. We wanted every book we read to Sam to allow for these types of emotions rather than exclusively proclaiming how wonderful it is to be adopted.
Adoption is Both
Written by an adult adoptee, this book uses cute, fluffy looking illustrations to walk a child through the complex feelings they may be having about their adoption. I really like the way it acknowledges adoption can be happy and sad.
My hope is this will help us have meaningful conversations as Sam gets older and understands his story more. For now, the fun illustrations keep him interested. It’s also similar in design to the “Spot of Feelings” book series that Sam enjoys.
Sam’s Sister
This story is written from the perspective of a little girl whose younger brother is placed for adoption. She is understandably confused and sad about why her little brother won’t be staying with her and her mother.
The book does a good job of explaining why the biological mother chooses adoption using simple language a young child can understand. The mother reassures the her daughter the baby will always be her brother, and they will stay in touch in an open adoption.
The Story of My Open Adoption
The main character in this story is a little squirrel named Sam who was adopted by two rabbits. Sam goes on a journey with his adoptive parents to visit his biological family. He feels joy when he sees the similarities between him and his biological family, but then guilty for feeling this joy and leaving his rabbit parents behind while he’s jumping through the trees with the squirrel family. The rabbits reassure him they want him to spend this time with his squirrel family and enjoy them, so he does. Sam feels sad when he leaves his biological family.
This is the only part of the book that made me pause. The adoptive mother says she thought Sam would be feeling happy after seeing his biological family, which didn’t leave much room for his more complex feelings. I think the rest of the book is so well done, that iffy piece could be a point of conversation when Sam is old enough to comprehend it.
Whether you have an adopted child in your family, are preparing for adoption, or simply want to gift something meaningful to a local non-profit adoption agency, I highly recommend these 3 books. Unrelated, but worth noting — In so many adoption books, the adopted child is named Samuel. This gives me hope people have been cracking open their Bibles!
What are your favorite adoption-related books for kids?