The empty manger

There’s an adorable Christmas book called, The Giving Manger. It comes with a wooden manger, a bundle of straw, and a baby Jesus. Every time a member of your family does an act of service, they put a piece of straw in the manger. By Christmas, it’s full of straw, ready for the Christ child. 

The purpose is to encourage a heart of giving during the Christmas season. I picked up a set as a gift for one of our godchildren and put it on my own Christmas list, thinking it would be a sweet tradition to start with our future children.

As December began, it was undeniable. Another year has come and gone, and barring a miracle, we will not be parents by Christmas.

The “manger” in our home is empty. 

Am I sad about this? Of course. Being childless when you wish otherwise is difficult, especially during the holidays.

Is it hard to see images of the expecting Blessed Mother everywhere? To hear all the readings about her pregnancy? In the midst of being grateful Mary bore our Savior, the constant reminder of pregnancy tugs at my heart. 

Even our nativity scenes waiting for baby Jesus to arrive draw my attention to the fact children are missing from our family.

Friends, I don’t want to give you the impression I’m super depressed. God’s grace and the passage of time have smoothed the sharp edges that make infertility feel unbearable. I have hope about growing our family, and I’m excited about what the future holds. Some moments are still hard, but most of them are good.

During Advent, this season of waiting, I’m going to do my best to take a lesson from The Giving Manger. I’ll ask myself — What pieces of straw can I put in the “manger” before our family grows? What acts of service and love can I take on, better preparing my heart for the sacrificial love required of parents?

To everyone in waiting — whether you’re eagerly waiting to grow your family, to meet your future spouse, to overcome an illness, to cope with the loss of a loved one — you are in my prayers this Advent.

💜